Forgive yourself. 100% safe for your site How disappointed are we when a long planned vacation-of-a-lifetime turns out to be not all what we would have hoped? I've written letters to everyone who . I took for granted that everyones dad was like this, but seeing how my partners dad is, he doesnt even come close, he doesnt come to see our little girl despite living not far, my dad lived for my little girl always asking for her on his almost daily calls and despite his bad knees would be on the floor with her making her laugh. I lost my father 18th month ago sudden stoke he was with me I thought he was suffering from a low and I was treating him for that as he was type 1 diabetic. weight I lost prior to his death. No amount of time can heal the sorrow of your passing away. Dad has passed 18 mths now. I also think it is the type of loss. Your post is spot on and so true and give me hope and comfort knowing I am right where I need to be. We were married 47 years and he was my best friend. I think of her every day and night. I waited for the flood of feelings I was sure would come. TERRI..It is 13 months and 20 days since my soul mate died..yesterday in work I felt truly happy for the first time since he died..it is 10pm today and the whole day has bee one of the worst..I have two dogs so I hide away ..put my head down on my arms and cry so they cant hear me.I work full time so am OK in work but I am so lonely without him..my children are interstate..along with my bestie of 50 years.I have no close friends outside of work..I make an effort to go out and socialize but am surrounded by couples..so come home as I miss him even more..if it werent for my two dogs I wouldnt be hereI dont know how much longer I can live live thisI have told no ome else how close I am to ending my own life..this lasses but right now the urge is overwhelming me..thanks for reading..if you doI am writing to you as you have the most recent post.. Ann.. After 1.5 years, I have yet to accept the finality of his death and keep expecting him to come back. Moving forward just doesnt seem possible. . For me, Everyday is a shocking reminder that my husband is not with me. She passed in August 2017, and we dedicated our 2018 season, featuring 'Two Crowns,' by Randy Vader and Jay Rouse, to her memory." Diana Williams Martin "I started a candle business in honor of my Rosita Bonita. I can say there are days that are a bit better than others. Just what can I do? He passed away on July 27 2018. I know I will have to carry this pain around until I die too, because it will never ease. We are all torn apart. This week marks five years since my mom passed away. I take one day at a time. I know most of what I am feeling is normal The Debt Ceiling in 2023: An In-Depth Analysis of Government Debt We were together for 3 years every day n night. I am a very strong person, but I longed for information and stories from other widows. but when I am alone I just lie on the couch, cry, and feel sorry for myself. They were able to get a heartbeat, he was on ventilator and all tests everything came back to normal. It's Been One Month Since My Mom Passed - Lung cancerDavid Bowie dies of cancer aged 69 - BBC News - BBC - Homepage He battled stage 4 lung cancer (also never smoked) for 7 1/2 years. Especially the what ifs and could I have done more for him and remembering his courage during cancer treatment even at the time of his passing. Early on I dehydrated terribly and could not think clearly at all. My everything. Everything seems meaningless. Just like so many of you who have graciously shared your journey here, when grief came, I too found myself unable to stand, lying on the floor and calling out his name, over and over again. It's the kind of heartache you can feel in your bones. I feel for all of you so much. Jean Marie Feils, 82, of Plainview, passed away February 24, 2023 at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester, MN. He appears whenever I need him and this brings comfort. One day at a time! The one thing I asked my counselor was why, why would I do that? Jackie you expressed much of what I feel for the most part. He was sick for over ten years and he was the one who kept my spirits going. I will say that it is a wonderful feeling, but also, I still miss my husband. What hurts me the most is that I wasnt with him when he died. I bring a chair to sit and just stare at the ground. Peace be with you!! Somewhere down the line, and its different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Our marriage wasnt perfect but we worked through all our problems and we loved each other more now then when we first said I do. They then called us to get in the room where he was, he was there lying on the bed surrounded by doctors and nurses, he was hooked on tubes a lot of tubes with the machine that was pumping real hard, my oldest daughter that was with me was screaming, we love you so much dad, you can do this etc. May God help us all. Do not see life as getting in the way of your love for your husband, Im sure he wouldnt want that either. I dont know what to do.. He was my soul mate, we did evrything together except our jobs. Im currently in the process of dealing with all the emotions that come from grief. I dont know why the first year I felt it was all a dream and my son wasnt really gone. "Time flies, whether you're wasting it or not.". I felt silly doing it, but she probably had a point. It would be rather strange if you did and I think that is so true. Missing you always.". I had been planning to visit him, when his death happened, was telling myself to write more as he wasnt online, he used to write lengthy notes on Christmas & birthday cards. Now this week is his anniversary and Im a real crazy mess. He was sick for 6 months and then passed. I pray that time will heal. I just survive praying to God that one day we will be united. since than i have been alone and find that i need to find out who i am without her. She made it 7days. I long everyday for my husband. I was her care taker 24/7, she was also my best friend and constant companion. The day before my birthday. I am just that a misfit. We saw his body deteriorate the last 4 months and he held out for as long as he could for us. Though having a busy job in our National health service, the NHS (in psychiatry) his own family of 4 children, he came on visits to Ireland, wrote letters etc ( we had no phone line & mobiles not invented). When I see couples together, I miss him even more, but I talk to God to help me get through the mental sadness, Stay well- youre not alone. Darak, You are still here so, you are in a sense moving on. were married 34 years. It's been 6 months since my husband passed that horrible Sunday morning. I try to stay very busy . ,sad, I cry for my wife married 33years happy together did every thing together ,, small cel lung cancer. First, i must say i am so sorry for all the losses of those posted here. I just cant see me with anyone else. I feel the same. The next year was so hard. 2 and half months without seeing her smile and hearing her voice pains me a lot and now the thought of not growing up with her kills me 1 minute at a time. I lost my husband on 4/8/2017, and my wworld fell apart. I pray every single day and ask God to help me, not for me but for them. Our son, Kevin, died on January 28, 2017. I am glad I found this site Than you for reading this and I do understand your pain. Im so sorry for your loss. I just feel it,s getting worse. Losing a Parent: 10 Tips for Handling the Grief - Healthline I immediately looked away . We were married 23 years. It is very hard to look at all these people in the face and lie with a smile on your face, telling them that youre okay.. My husband lived only 6mos after drs found CNS lymphoma in his brain. Thanks for hearing me. then finally she got the all clear and told she was a survivor. I dont do holidays with my kids or anyone: I cant. YouTube A body from the Dyatlov Pass incident. But, by the end of the year, I felt like I survived. You've opened my eyes to see what it all means. Our world was turned upside down and inside out. It presents itself in a million little ways throughout the day and night. But for now, that seems unlikely because when I dare to look out, all I see is the hazy, drab-blue sameness an endless ocean. Im sorry. I could care less. I feel like i literally have a hole in my chest and it makes me unable to breathe. I am functioning okaytaking care of my responsibilities. As for grief, youll find it comes in waves. I wish I had that one more everyday. I suppose I will keep going on but no one will ever have my heart ever again like my wife did. I lost 2 strong important women in my family at the end of 2018. I would fix it if I could but I now know deep down that I cant. I was so grief stricken as we had done everything possible to make a good life for him, he was our SON SUN. Thank you Rachel. I feel I can,t cope. She was my best friend and soulmate. First year, I got through, thinking 2nd year will be better looking at my 3rd holiday season without him I can say, there is hope and it is centered around one step at a time. I dont like telling anyone how I feel because I think they What if lose him too? It was completely unexpected as he was fairly young and never had health issues. All the best to all of you. He was 45 when he passed I was 43. I still have to live. He & I were always together & even had the same thoughts many times surprising ourselves when we spoke of them. The first year was missing my wife and being sad for my daughters. In two months it will be a year since my mom died. At the time before my husband died my wee doggie was expecting puppies. Whats a person to do with that, and where to go from here? Sometimes, when Im having a bad day, that pain makes it hard to breathe. They only know me and my daughter, so when we get together we dont seem like were missing someone. Just to let them know that they arent up here alone. I lost my wife of 40 years five months ago today. The Other Side of Grief is a series about the life-changing power of loss. I want to be with my Harry. When he died, a part of me died with him. How to Help Someone With Grief After a Sudden Death - The New York Times i guess thats it for my self pity party. She and I would go Black Friday shopping. I feel as though Im nothing. Now, though, it is hitting me that he is never coming back. My dad passed away Mar2016. We had bought a house, were remodeling it, and then going to sell the house and move out to the country. Im truly sorry for every one of your losses. I just dont want to do anything. Year two was when reality somehow knocked on the door; it was terrible. i have faith it will get easier somehow.but in that each of our circumstances are different, i just felt the need to feel sori for myself a minute. Disputes, mistakes, and shortcomings occur on both sides and are all in the past. I now regret it because little did I know he was grieving also, but I never knew because he was being strong for me. I lost my Tracy. grief come anytime. Bless you, My daughter passed 1 year and a half ago and the pain is worse to me. and I know now I am not going crazy. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. She could not even have a bowel movement without assistance. I miss him every second of the day, that will never change. Its been a year 18 months since I lost my son and it feels as though the pain has grown. Which I fear for my partner as he is so lovely and loves me dearly but I cant let him in too much. The pain is immense, there is no recipe or road map for this and most of no quick fix. God bless you all. He was another father/brother figure for me and we were inseparable. My fathers started dating someone who slanders her and her opinion of me, and even though I know shes wrong and never met her it hurts so badly. I hope you are living well in the world of the creator. Get a love spell to win your ex lover back with the help of Lord Zakuza. My son rolled a diesel tanker and it ejected him out and rolled on him and crushed him. We had selected and paid for our weding bands. Everyday I am wishing for him to come home, I am hoping that one day he would knock on the door and said Im home, the emptiness is killing me everyday, We misses him so much. Stay busy. He Was Grieving Over The Death Of His Best Friend. I am grateful. I had thirty years of marriage she was everything to me all I had known since eighteen.I had counselling through myself back into work and seemed to be coping acknowledging every milestone with great sadness. I also feel the pain my children feel on his birthday and fathers day. Nearly five months after their pregnancy news made headlines, Herron and Brown revealed that their newborn son, Oliver, died prematurely at 24 weeks. I have been tearing up all day but not in a sad way. I lost my firstborn precious child, my 10 year old son a few days away from 14 months ago. Praying for us all. I have had a fight with depression most of my life. Hi everyone. I also know that I dont really have a choice. The first year, I was in a fog, very forgetful, sad, depressed & feeling lost. There are no words to describe the pain! He was everyone friend including enemies. Its so unnatural and wrong. Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for the grief-slog of these past 14 months. custom URL tracking provided I spent the first year in tears, confusion, shock, and disbelief. . Our 21 year old twin daughters just got back from a movie and ran in to get me. I am so overcome with sadness. The fact remains I just dont know what to do most of the time. Hospitals wouldnt admit. I love you Max forever youll always be in my heart and I see you in our 4 sons and grandchildren..youre missing their weddings and special celebrationsto all of you hear on this page I pray you find hope and courage to keep going . Ive felt lonely and sometimes I dont know how to cope with the loss and pain. He was watching Sport Center I told him I was taking a quick shower and then Id join him. I have just been reading through this site and found your response to minelike you..I dont want to socialise..I go to work..come home to the whirlpool of love from my two puppies..you and I are so blessed to have our furriesI know I will never have another soul mate and am so thankful to have been so loved and accepted for who I am ..may our boys rest in peace until we are together again..hope you have settled into your job.work will help keep us both going..hugs..ann. Ill NEVER see him again. There is not a day when I do not think of you. Noreen, Its just about a year since my husband of 55 years died. We waited so long for each other. Your children would feel the pain you feel if something happened to you! Hos short life was a blessing to those who knew him! It does help to know that Im not some crazy women who doesnt know how to move on. I am English but have a wonderful friend in Alabama also a widow . But, I want to share some discoveries I found that may bring a glimmer of hope and moment of peace in your journey with grief and suffering. For a while, all you can do is float. I have had to make tough decisions on what I can handle. Im bipolar, which does not help. I have days of no energy or ambition. So much loss for them too. We were married since September 2004 and Re married (I should say Valentines Day 2012) She would have been 39 May 15th Now two Birthdays have past and two Mothers day. Four month After losing him, I lost my job. I feel isolated. See a translation. He was in and out of the hospital for months and then a small mass was found on his lung. Remember Dad on His Death Anniversary: Quotes | Cake Blog You should realize no parent-child relationship is ever perfect. 1989 this cancer came into our lives. Im just over a year without my darling wife.. We all have a whole lot in common whether its short or long term living marriage, a lover, a friend or a family loved one. And worked she was sick of hospitals.